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Written by Jeanne Malone – jjmalone89@msn.com

What a blessing to see that we were loved by both our parents and that we loved each other. It was right there for all to see as grainy, shaky shots of birthdays and Christmas past rolled by. Home-made birthday cakes, dresses that little girls dream of, hair styled in pony tails, barrettes and bows. A mother young and beautiful behind the scenes, making it all happen. Christmas presents stacked up for each child. Smiles that lit the screen, never to be seen again. Gifts hastily unwrapped revealing treasures: A train set, a nurse doll, a bicycles, a scooter. The gifts were the visible signs of love from parents who sacrificed and struggled to make it happen. The invisible father, behind the camera, to whom we all waved. Movies made real the memories that were forgotten: We were cared for and loved. We were wanted. We were a happy family.

I’ve often wondered what happened to tear us apart. The life of routine, things not said that should have been said. Love chipped away by the daily struggles to pay the bills and put food on the table; fulfilling so many needs and wants, while ignoring your own; letting things build up to the point of no return; giving in rather than pressing on; living a Godless life.

Well into middle age myself; I’ve experienced enough in life to understand why my parents threw in the towel. I, too, have struggled in relationships with others. Moments of anger, followed by disbelief, and a quick taste of hatred have appeared in my own relationships. Fortunately, for me, God has showed me that love is an action verb. Feelings feed on actions. We do; then we feel. Without taking action, feelings of love quickly fade

God has showed me that all relationships are the same. We all try to connect and maintain that connection. We have high hopes at the beginning, but feelings often sidetrack us from ongoing connection. We get mad. We become righteous, too proud to say we’re sorry. We wait too long, then it becomes too late and the connection is gone.

Our relationship with God is much the same. We start out with hope and optimism. With time, our enthusiasm wanes and life intervenes. Stuff happens. We get off track and stop going to God for answers and praising God for our many blessings. WE often look to ourselves for the answers, losing our connection to God.

But God teaches us it’s really not about feelings, those temporary transient things that derail us so often. It’s about doing, taking action. Pray without ceasing, even when we don’t feel like it. Love your neighbor like yourself even when you don’t always like them. Say you’re sorry even when you know you’re right. By doing so, you will keep your connection to both God above and those you love here on earth. You’ll also be part of the connection of love: Do, forgive, renew, restore. Love. That’s what God asks us to do each and every day to be part of this world and to be part of His kingdom.

So as I look back on those childhood scenes, I feel memories of love awakened. I was loved, cherished and cared for, part of a loving family. And seeing that love allows me to begin the act of forgiving my parents for the unintentional tragedies that happened later and that are still happening now. Their acts, incomprehensible, selfish and indulgent to me as a child, are now far more nuanced to me as an adult. I’ve experienced life in all its richness, with its struggles, complications, triumphs and tragedies; with its hope and despair, joy and sadness. With God in my life, I’ve started to learn the process of renewal and hope. I’ve learned to forgive, renew, restore. I’ve experienced love restored in all its glory. In this circular process, God allows us to stay connected to those we love on earth and to Him in heaven above. And with that love, all of our memories of times gone past and times yet to come will be filled with that glorious and never ending love.

I wrote this article in honor of my parents, my siblings, my husband, and my friends with love and forgiveness. May we always love each other enough to forgive when we need to forgive, to tell each other when we’ve let each other down or hurt each other so that we may forgive each other, and always renew and restore our relationship with each other.

I also write in honor of my parents with forgiveness for the tragedies that happened in our childhood, which robbed us of family, love and connection in so many ways. I pray that you both will forgive yourselves and receive the forgiveness of the rest of your children.

I pray for the restoration of our family and our love for each other.

I acknowledge the hand of God in all that happened in my life: in the creation of the movies that we could watch when we were adults when we really needed to see them, to be able to see the hands of loving parents in these movies, to be able to see the love we had as a family and for each other. I thank and praise God for his many blessings on my family and pray for his divine protection that never ends. I also pray for God to continually bless my family, my husband, and my friends abundantly. May each of you seek God for He is there for all of you to find.

I want to thank Jeanne for sharing this life story with us, and I hope that it touches you in the same way that it has touched me.

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